Dances with Words

Elicia’s been singing this to me, to the tune of “Tamborine Man”:

Hey mister caffeine-free man
Why are you so grumpy?
It’s breakfast and there ain’t no coffee pot to brew.

Yesterday afternoon I got very grumpy at Elicia for reasons inconsequential. I didn’t realise until afterward that I can probably blame coffee – or lack thereof.

I think by today I’m over the worst of it. I feel tired though. I want an afternoon nap. Unfortunately I’m way too busy. If only I could work with my eyes closed…

Grr.

I’m having trouble concentrating. Other than that I feel not as bad as yesterday.

First day without coffee today. I could leave it longer before quitting if my only reason was to be “clean” by our Indo trip, but I thought it might be a good idea to go off it for a couple of months anyway, just to be healthy. Fool.

Start of Spring, thoughts turn to salads and outdoor activities, a bit of a health kick is developing in our household, James decides to give up coffee. It gives him only a small headache but it makes his eyes feel droopy and his temper is shorter than normal. He’s also referring to himself in third person, interestingly.

Today on the radio they talked about how what we consume defines who we are. People buy things in order to show to their peers (and everyone else) what kind of person they are.

It’s an interesting idea. I know it’s true. Maybe less true for some people than others, but true nonetheless.

As I see it, you can look at it two ways:

1/ People spend money on things they like, so by seeing what they buy you can see what they value and draw conclusions about what sort of person they are. For example, Elicia and I recently put a large dinner table on layby. You could conclude that we have people around often, we have a large family, large dinners or too much space in our kitchen. Hmm.

2/ People want to have a certain image, so they buy things that project that image to the world. This is where marketing comes in – if you want to appear stylish, you’ll buy a jaguar, if you want to appear more the earthy type, a landrover. People who see you driving your car will associate it with things they know about the product and brand, and draw conclusions about what you value. We drive a 1985 Holden Gemini. Small and yellow. Double hmm.

Self is a funny thing.

Make a list of things you need.
Leave it empty, except for number one.
Write “love”. Gamble everything.

Our housemate (called Des here to protect her innocence) is going to see Rove Live tonight. Fame! One of the things I love about our housemate is how she states what emotions she’s feeling. She just says them. She’ll say “Pain!” when she cuts herself, “Hunger!” when she gets home from work, and “Jealousy!” when a friend is doing something she’d love to do. Like go to Rove, which she’s doing tonight.

BTW I didn’t mean to mislead anyone – we don’t leave for Indo until the last week of November, so still a little way off yet. We’ve been doing the preparation though, so we’ve been thinking about it a lot. I figure I can keep drinking coffee until the last day in October. I’ve also been trying to find time to get a little bit of Bahasa Indonesia under my belt. “Learn a bit, use it a bunch” as one of our Perspectives lecturers said. (He’s american, so we’ll forgive him.) I thought it would be good to buy a guitar for the orphanage we’re visiting – we’ll pass a hat at our cell group – and then translate some songs into Indonesian. Christian songs, I mean. Simple ones. VERY simple at the rate my Indo is going.

Do you want to know the things that scare me the most about going to Indonesia for our two-week mission trip? Honestly?

These are my fears:
1/ What if they don’t have coffee readily available?
2/ What if the toilets don’t have toilet paper?
3/ What if I need more sleep than everyone else and they all think I’m a dag?

Seriously, I’ve been thinking I’ll have to wean myself off coffee in the weeks leading up to the trip. I’d hate to be grumpy and headachey just because we can’t stop for a coffee every morning.

I’ve been very busy the last couple of weeks, hence less wiblogging and reading.

I have, however, finished Kleinzeit by Russell Hoban. An interesting book, amusing, clever, involving. Experimental, a lot of it is written as a largely unexplained metaphor. A metaphor for what, I’m still unsure – but trying to figure it out makes for good brain exercise while reading. The story, such as it is, is quirkily interesting as well. Main character solid in his confusion.

Barrow full of rocks? said the yellow paper.
That’s my name for it, said Word. The line itself is from Pilkins.
Milton? said the yellow paper.
Something like that, said Word. ‘Hidden soul of harmony’ is what he said. I like that. It sings. ‘Untwisting all the chains that ty /The hidden soul of harmony.’ That’s nice. I’ll think of it again some time.
Do you mean to tell me, said the yellow paper, that ‘Barrow full of rocks’ is nothing more than a mnemonic for “Hidden soul of harmony’?
Precisely, said Word.
That’s outrageous, said the yellow paper. And on top of that they’re nothing like each other.
Of course not, said Word. If the mnemonic is the same as what it reminds you of why bother with it. I don’t even like them to be too close. If you have a nice thing to think about you don’t keep it out in plain view all the time, you know, with the virtue getting rubbed off it. Keep it in the dark is what I say.